¿Y Maria? ¡Se Fue...!

(Translation: And Maria? She left.)

A complete list of the wedding party's attendees would include:
My wife and I (at least I remember us being there)
My older brother (best man/ one of the Best men/ second marriage certificate witness)
Maria Sanchez (best woman, but not a Best woman/ oh, wait, they call that a "bridesmaid"/ except I think her two sons [at the time of the wedding, since she might have more children since] disqualifies her from the "maid" part/ first marriage certificate witness)
her two sons (if she had another, she could have made a TV show out of it)
My dad and step-mom
I would say the minister, except I'm pretty sure he left right after the ceremony
Lorena (not the one who is my wife, but the lady that introduced us)
Two other female co-workers, only one of whom I remember the name of (Angie)

Obviously, not the most-heavily attended marriage in history, but I'll take it anyway.  The reason I bring all of this up is because I finally decide to contact Maria to tell her about Lorena's death and, as the title would indicate, there was no Maria there.  I can't remember if it was a landline or a cellphone, but either way, the number is in the hands of someone else.  So, Maria, if you're out there, I didn't lose that number, I didn't (at the time I used it) want to call nobody else (I'm working with lyrics here, so please forgive the double negative), sending it off to a letter to myself wouldn't have helped anyway, it's not the only one I owned (although it is the only one I owned for you), and, finally, I suppose it could have made me felt better, except I was already home.
Oh, one more piece of trivia of dubious importance: Lorena (my deceased wife, not the co-worker by the same name who introduced us) was staying with Maria somewhere between 3 and 9 months after she stopped working for the other Lorena's brother and sister-in-law and before she moved in with me.

Of Past Presents and the Past Future of Particular Pieces Thereof

Or, Gimme a Break, Gimme a Break... Wait! Belay That!

The quest for our one and only wedding present began in the living room of my father and step-mother with my step-mother returning after retrieving a plate¹ from a kitchen cupboard.  My wife and I were sitting on the sofa when she proceeded to drop the aforementioned plate¹ on the carpeted² floor.  Since we had not been forewarned of the whys and wherefores of her actions, my wife and I were shocked, SHOCKED, to find someone purposely dropping their own dishes in this manner since one would expect such an action would not end well for the plate¹, because E = mc^{2 3} or some other law of physics.  It turns out that it had been made by Corelle^®4, a leading manufacturer of glassware, dinnerware, and heart attacks sustained after watching someone drop one of his or her plates on the floor to demonstrate how break-resistant they are.  Seeing that dinnerware would probably as good a gift as other that my wife and I could think of, we accepted her offer to buy us some.  It was then that she told us that the closest Corelle outlet⁵ was in Gilroy, CA, about a 34 mile drive without traffic or 4 hour and 15 minute ride if one uses uses the Amtrak Thruway Connecting Service and then catches a local bus in Gilroy.  Since taking the Monterey-Salinas Transit 86 and then the (Santa Clara County) Valley Transportation Authority 17 would only take about 1 hour and 49 minutes, I'm guessing even that would be more popular than taking Amtrak for that purpose.  Either way, my step-mother drove us there, sparing us from having to find out for ourselves.  We eventually settled on several plates, bowls, and teacups, most of which had coral pink⁶ trim, while some of the plates had roses of the same or similar color⁶.
Note to anyone viewing this from the front page: feel free to ignore "And now the rest of the story" link at the bottom right.  There's nothing to see there.  Really.  Just move on to the next post.  Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Jon Best's Groom's Guide to Planning a Wedding In Less Than One Week and On a Budget

I might not be Mary Fiore¹, but I can do in a pinch

1. Choose wedding date.  I've heard that the groom's birthday is an especially suspicious, I mean auspicious, date.
2. Have ring bought and marriage certificate arranged beforehand
4. Tell family, friends, and co-workers about wedding.  Financial tip: waiting until it's too late for people to RSVP makes buying and sending invitations unnecessary.
3. Tell family, friends, and co-workers² that you met a lady that you're considering marrying.  Wait... did I do that backwards?
5. Sometime during all of this, ask brother to be the best man and have him accept.
6. Have co-workers who refuse to go to the wedding if no (free) alcohol will be served.  Considering the wedding and reception will take place in a public park that prohibits such beverages, it's not really a choice.  Besides, such a move eliminates people who aren't there for the nuptials from attending and that's probably not all that great of a loss.
7. Although not absolutely necessary, having a father who has been a minister and knows someone who can perform the wedding (in Spanish and English, no less) certainly helps³.
8. Have step-mother willing to buy wedding cake and batteries for boom box to play music at reception.  Remember that it's only the latter that goes into the boom box.
9. On the day of the wedding, get up and get dressed, wife... I mean, bride (because she wasn't my wife yet) does the same and then prepares ceviche⁴ for the reception.  Besides the ceviche, I believe we also had tostadas and soft drinks.
   
   ⁵
10. Have co-worker who introduced you to each other do bride's hair and helps with her makeup.
11. Go to park (I'm 90% sure it was the McKinnon Neighborhood Park, but have a slight bit of doubt).  Did I see her before the wedding?  I believe so, but it's not like I believe in superstitions so it turned out ok after all.
12. Give a little time for anyone who wants to show up to do so.
13. Have wedding and don't mess up any lines.  Since I think all I had to say was "I do", that made it fairly easy.  Kiss the bride when minister gives the order.
14. Par-tay!  (Sorry, no bouquet or garter belt to toss)
15. Not know that one is supposed to pay the minister and have father volunteer to do so.  Have witnesses and minister sign form.
16. Cut the cake.
17. Have co-worker do the traditional (at least I guess it is in Mexico) smearing of a bit of frosting on my and my lovely wife's lovely nose (hers, not mine).
18. Get toasted with apple cider.
19. Get birthday card from father and step-mother.
20. That's pretty much it.  We took the remaining wedding cake home after that and lived more-or-less-happily ever (or at least until she died) after.

¹ Especially since I did not fall in love with the groom.
² If one of these co-workers happens to be the person who introduced you to each other, that's one less person you have to tell since she probably already knows.
³  And, yes, that does mean we did not have someone to perform the ceremony until a few days before the event.
⁴ Mexican sushi
⁵ Sorry, I couldn't find a ceviche⁴ recipe on YouTube in English.

Trivia Time: what do Election, Notting Hill, Wild, Wild West, and Galaxy Quest have in common?

Yes, they all may be movies that you liked, disliked, or never heard of, but I'm looking for a more specific answer than that.  That they all came out in 1999 is closer to the desired response, but not close enough.  One may notice, however, a trend towards movies that came out sometime between the time Lorena and I met and when we married.  So if you guessed that they are all movies that Lorena and I saw while dating, you win an invisible, tasteless, and non-existent cookie.  Or it could be a real cookie as long as you or someone other than myself buys it for you.
I also won a "Nidorino" Pokemon card (I was aiming for just about anything other than that, though) from a claw crane in the movie theater arcade.  Despite how much I do not like Pokemon, it is not for sale, for what should be obvious (sentimental) reasons.
Postscript: all of the movies cost $7.25/person except for Galaxy Quest, which cost $4.50/person.  I don't think it's a comment of the quality of the movie, but instead that we saw it during an afternoon matinee rather than at night.  Our ticket sellers appear to have been Lexie (Election), Alex (Notting Hill), Claucia (Wild, Wild West) and Hicke, Rit (by process of elimination, Galaxy Quest).

My wife, she wrote me a letter

Or a lesson on hard it is to translate something when
the person who wrote what you are trying
to translate did not spell it correctly

This is just going to be a semi-Recent Widower Review explaining the similarities and differences rather than go through the entire song so that I can get back to discussing the letter/note under discussion:

1. She was never my baby.  She was always a woman to me (although I have plenty of disagreements with those lyrics as well), both before and after she became my wife.
2. An airplane/train ticket wouldn't have helped anyway since she lived within walking distance.
3. I didn't need to spend any money for that same reason.
4. She did write me a letter (well, actually three), although many might call a missive of that length a "note" instead.
5. Lonely days were gone, but only for awhile.  They've since returned.
6. I was probably at the restaurant when I read the letter, so I did have to go home.
7. The closest thing the letter said about not being able to live without me was that she wants to know if I would like to meet her.

So, it's pretty much 2½  points of agreement among the 7, although it does include the major point (that she wrote me a letter) included in the title.  But let's get to the note itself (Spanish first, translation in green second).  Note: Lorena tended to confuse "b" and "v" (since they sound alike in Spanish), drop the "h" (since it is silent in Spanish) in words, and not add necessary accents, so I have had to make minor spelling changes and make a few guesses.  Some parts of the translation might not be perfect (please let me know of any better ways to translate this in the comments), but I've done the best I could.

"Jon" (I don't think that needs translation)
¡Hola! (Hello!)
Me platicó Lorena lo que les pasó anoche pero es que yo le dijé a Lorena que me ablará [= hablará] antes de benirse [= venirse] para saber si Jesus y su esposa se habían ido al baile y no mas me quede esperando la llamada.  (Lorena¹ talked to me about what happened to them last night but I told Lorena that she will speak to me before she went [to work?] for me to know if Jesus and his wife were going to go to the dance and I would no longer have to wait for the [phone] call.
Tambíen le dijé que iba a estar a las siete afuera del restaurant aber [= a ver] si podían salir pero como no salieron. (Also² I told her that I was present at seven outside the restaurant³ to see if they could leave but they had not left).
Me biene [= viene] para la casa y a las nueve me iba debolver [= devolver] para benirme [= venirme] con Lorena y conoceste porque de tanto que me habla ella de ti y a te conosco [= conozco]. (I went home and at nine, I went went to return to come with Lorena and meet you because of how much she has told me about you and to know you.)
Aunqué yo [no?] sé que te bas [= vas] a desepcionar [= decepcionar] de mi porque no sé si quieres tener una amiga chaparrita y gordita. (Although I do [not?] know if you will be disappointed in me because I do not know if you want a slightly short and slightly plumpish female friend.)
Tambíen aller [= ayer] en la tarde estube [= estuve] con una amiga comiendo en el restaurante y cada [vez?] que alguien asomaba de adentro de donde ustedes estan decía cera [= sera] él o no sera.  (Also², yesterday afternoon, I was eating with a female friend in the restaurant y each [time?] that someone looked out from where you are she said "Will it or will it not be him?".
... y me decía mi amiga pues que tanto mirar para alla pues nada le contestaba... (and my friend said to me because so many would look from there and yet nothing would answer)
... y tambíen estaba un muchacho sirviendose fruta y dijé a mi amiga que fuera  a ber [=  ver] como se llamaba y que decepcíon se llamaba Ezequiel. (and also a guy was serving fruit and I told my friend that I would go see what his name was and what a disappointment that he was called "Ezequiel").
bueño.  es todo lo que te puedo desir [= decir].  hasta pronto.  Lorena F.  (Well, that is all I can say to you.  Until soon.  Lorena F.)
Me contestas porque lo que me mandaste el otro día lo perdio y no me dio nada.  Me dijiste que allí abias [= habías] puesto tu numero de telefono (Answer me because that which you sent me, I lost and you did not give me anything.  You told me that you put (wrote) your telephone number there.)


¹ My co-worker at HomeTown Buffet who gave me the note.
² Since she used a lower-case "t" on tambíen, it may have been the last word of the previous sentence, but it makes more sense as the beginning of this one.
³ Probably HomeTown Buffet in Salinas.

This is the story of a lovely lady...

Or, A Story Written Because of a Request of My Mother,
Despite My Belief I Had Already Told Her This Before

Except... she had four girls, not three.  Furthermore, they were already grown by the time she met the man she married, his name wasn't Brady, he didn't have any children, and neither the mother nor her daughters had golden hair, much less curls for the youngest.  As for the possibility of a housekeeper, finances (or more accurately, lack thereof) kept that as a pipe dream.  So except for several major differences, we were just like Carol Martin and Mike Brady in that they met and they married.

We should turn at the... say what?

Continuing the "say what" series of posts (began here and continued here), today's tantalizing tale tells of a time that occurred shortly after Lorena and I moved to Los Angeles and had to fill out the forms to transfer the payments for her Supplemental Security Income (SSI) disability from Salinas.  Our first attempt to do so landed us at the wrong building and one of the workers there told us where to go.  In our rush to get the task done, however, we forgot to get the directions for how to get there.  We soon remedied our lack of information at a nearby bus stop by requesting it from another lady waiting there.  I cannot recall most of what she told us mainly because I quickly concentrated on a single detail: that her directions involved us going north until we reached a green line.  Or rather, the green line, which seemed even more bizarre to me at the time, for I imagined my wife and I having to walk while searching for a literal green line (painted?) on the street (if you're reading this from the home page, you'll have to click below to read the rest...).

My lady in red (or whatever color[s] she chose to wear)

Today's Recent Widower Review comes courtesy of Chris De Bergh^22¾

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright

Every day she grew lovelier in my eyes.

I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance

I might have a few objections to that.

And I have never seen that dress you're wearing
Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes,

Then again, my wife was a prolific shopper, although there were several pieces of clothing (but only one dress) that I don't ever recall seeing her wear, some with tags still on them.  As the three packages of men's dress socks and three tubes of shower body wash that I found unopened further demonstrate, she always seemed to be buying items to use for later but then never got around to using them.  Furthermore, she wasn't much of a dress wearer, because I only found the one aforementioned dress.

I have been blind

But then again, we all seem to be in our own little ways.  I'm no exception to that.

The lady in red...

I haven't really come across much of her clothing that is red.  She did have a pair of pink pajamas and two (actually four, but two of them were quite small and designed to be worn with their respective piece among the other two and thus I wouldn't consider them separate) other garments that I would call sleepwear except however often I may have seen her wear them to bed, I don't recall her actually getting to sleep in them.

...is dancing with me, cheek to cheek

If we ever danced together, I don't recall it.  It doesn't seem to be an activity that she enjoyed.

There's nobody here, it's just you and me

And sometimes one or two of three grandsons, one daughter, or one sister living with us, if I remember correctly.  Although I think the total time would be less than a year.  Also, she went to visit various family frequently, so sometimes it wasn't even just her and me.

It's where I want to be

Always and forever, love of my life.

but I hardly know this beauty by my side

Maybe I should have asked more, but she didn't seem to like revealing much of her past life before she met me.

I'll never forget the way you look tonight

Sometimes such visions haunt me, sometimes they comfort me, and sometimes they do both.

I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing
I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side

And now we're back to a slight variation of the first few lines.  Although she was amazing.  Nor would I mind people wanting to be by her side (well, depending on the reason) like I would men wanting to dance with her while looking for romance.

And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away
And I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

... and every other night.  The rest is mostly chorus and repetition until the last line, so I'll just skip to that:

I love you

 I can't think of anything to add to that.

I just learned how to change the cover photo on my Google+ profile

Words cannot describe how beautiful she is to me.  And the emotions every time I see it: love, pain, joy, sorrow, blessedness, betrayal (how dare she leave me alone?), and too many more to sort them all out.  Then there are the questions to which I do not know the answer.  I have to restrain myself from punching the monitor so that I no longer can see it while at the same time wanting to linger on it, caressing the image of her face (why can't it be the real thing?).
I hope that no one reading this is bothered by my remembering this Memorial Day someone who fell in the battle against cancer.  I didn't plan it this way, it just happened.

When is a party not a party?

One of my tendencies that people who know me- whether personally or through reading this blog- might recognize is that I often have difficulty putting times, such as dates, months or even years, to a lot of events that I otherwise remember quite well.  For example, some time back before I met my wife, a female co-worker (yes, that's one of the reasons I wanted to emphasize the above) asked me if I wanted to go to a party she was having at her house, if I remember correctly, that night.  Since I didn't have plans for whatever night it was (or pretty much any other night, come to think of it), I agreed after making arrangements for her to pick me up at my apartment as I don't drive and it was quite a distance away.  After work ended that day, I went to pick up some juice just in case the refreshments weren't to my liking (while I don't have anything against drinking per se, it's something I have never developed a taste for personally) and then home to change.  She arrives later on and we drive over to her house.  After awhile there, though, it appears that no one else is going to show up and eventually she takes me back to my place.  I think nothing of it until....