I wet my be... Wait a minute! Who writes these headlines?

Although I suppose there could be worse alternatives¹

It all began with "Let there be light", although that might be taking an introduction to the topic a little too far.  Suffice to say, sleeping in my bed has become a bit of an adventure (not that I'm suggesting that anyone other than I try it²) since a recent ant invasion.  I'm not sure if any uncles³ were involved, but I immedia soonishly binged⁴ "get rid of ants", which led me to a page that suggested a teaspoon of rubbing alcohol, a teaspoon and a half of dish soap, and some water in a spray bottle.  Being a man, I of course didn't measure.  Furthermore, since it doesn't say where exactly to spray, I tried spraying it directly on them and found their claim that the ants "will stay clear away from" the solution because of the alcohol was a little understated.  Specifically, they weren't alive enough to do so after a shot or two, although that might be because of the dish soap rather than the rubbing alcohol.


¹ My bed has a wet spo⁵.... NO! NO! NO!  Bad headline writer, bad!  Anyway, it's gone now.
² Although that might (or might not) be subject to change in the future.
³ A joke the appreciation of which will be severely reduced by those who pronounce "aunt" as "awnt".
⁴ It's like Googling, except using Bing.
⁵ Not that I mind discussing topics involving that subject.  It's just that I wasn't referring to the common definition of that term.  Furthermore, I would think that towels (either under the affected area before or over afterwards) would usually solve the problem.

What fun can one guy have with two pairs of nearly indentical glasses?

Another busy day, another late, quick post.  So let's get down to it: Just seeing how long it takes people to realize I not only have new glasses, but two new pairs of them.    While the brown/gold-ish pair do look a lot like my old pair (the new ones are a bit darker in the frame, but lighter on the "plastic" ear covering), I would think the sudden absence of the tape used to hold the old pair together would make it obvious.  Or maybe I did too good of a job with the scotch tape so that no one noticed it?  However, I suppose that means that you, my dear and loyal readers, are privy to a secret that the virtually the rest of the world knows nothing about.  So don't go telling anyone, make them suffer for not reading my blog even if they don't know they're suffering, 'kay?
Got to get ready for work.  Just remember to tune into (maybe) the same Jon-time, on the same Jon-blog.

Today's quick trivia question: what label first makes its appearance with this post?

Starting over

Or, I Guess I Got What I Paid For

Long story short: I took my glasses off to place them on top of the cabinet and dropped them on the floor.  As tired as I was, I failed to look where I stepped and my foot landed on top of them, with predictable results.  All efforts to try to fix them failed, so I thought maybe I could order another pair of frames and pop the lenses into them.  Unfortunately, the place I bought them from doesn't sell frames only.  I know that they say that into every life, a little rain must fall, but sometimes it seems like it's pouring over here.  But I have survived a lot worse, so I suppose it will turn out ok.
So... I have temporarily have had to return to using the falling-apart-but-still-usable-if-taped-together old pair and will have to check into buying a new new pair tomorrow. But if I can't blog tomorrow, that's why.  Thankfully, I just got paid last Friday and don't have to worry about rent until next paycheck.  So cue Gloria Gaynor...

I forgot to forget...

Quite a few times, I have had difficulty coming back to work after a holiday and remembering to adjust for it being a day later.  For example, if the holiday fell on a Monday, I would find myself doing Monday tasks when returning to work on Tuesday.  Somehow I avoided that yesterday.  Go me!  It might not seem like much, but sometimes one has to celebrate one's victories wherever he or she can find them.  Speaking of "wherever", doesn't it seem like there should be another "e" in there since it's made up of "where" and "ever".  For those interested, yes, such randomness is typical for my thought patterns, although I'm usually quiet about what I'm thinking when they are.  Ooh, look, a squirrel....
Now, where was I?  Oh, yeah, Los Angeles, CA.  Wait, that isn't what I meant.  I also wanted to mention that today is the last day I get to see 283 pageviews in one day stat for Jun¹ 28, 2016 on the Overview page for the blog.  The weird thing about is that a different page for the stats shows the pageviews at about half that.  Even if the former counts my pageviews and the latter doesn't, I still don't see that coming anywhere close to making up the difference between the two numbers.  Curiouser and curiouser.
Anyway, happy sixth of July!<sup>2

1</sup> Before anyone comments that this is a typo, that's the way the infotip shortens it.
² What? Would you rather I wished you a unhappy sixth of July?

The glasses are coming! The glasses are coming!

Featuring the Amazing Disappearing Tracking Number!

They're supposed¹ to be here tomorrow!

¹ As if everything in life went the way it was supposed to....

Getting a buzz....

Or, Shave and a Haircut... No bits

Decided to tame the unruly mane on top of my head by getting out the electric hair clippers today¹.  Then again, I have tended to prefer function over form anyway.  As long as it's inexpensi- on second thought, let's call it what it is, cheap, I don't have to find a barber or schedule an appointment, and I can do it myself, it's my hair and it doesn't really bother what other people think about ti  Plus, needing to use less shampoo and no styling gel means I save money, not to mention that I don't have to waste time maintaining it.  Finally, it'll probably be cooler (temperature-wise, rather than in terms of popularity).

Weird stat of the day: for some reason my page views spiked to 283 yesterday¹- or almost 5 times the 2nd most page views in one day of 58 and probably more than seven days¹ previous combined. At first I was wondering whether the comment I posted on disqus.com had drawn some attention, but that site isn't mentioned among the traffic sources.

¹ All references to days are from the perspective of June 29 (the date on the post) rather than June 30 (the date I actually posted it).  In other words, for the purposes of this post, today means the 29th, and yesterday means the 28th.

Not quite done with bedroom updates

Or, Which Books Where?

After finally getting the bookshelf up, I find myself at an impasse as to which books I want to move from the living bookcase onto it: the bigger ones, which would leave more space in front of the smaller ones left behind, or the smaller ones, which are less likely to warp the singly-stacked boards? Furthermore, I had to explain to my grandson that just because I had cleared off a shelf in the living room that that doesn't mean it will stayed clear (i.e., that I might have to move some of the books back out there) to make sure that he doesn't cover a bookshelf I might need later with photos or similar stuff. Finally, between starting this post and then eventually getting back to finishing it, I left a comment in an internet discussion in response to someone (who happened to be atheist) who said his significant other was dying of ovarian cancer. Shared some of my experience going through a similar situation with Lorena and how quickly it went from thinking she had years to live still to her death. A bit drained by it, so I'll end here.

Bedroom update update!

Seeing how my pageviews spiked to 57 yesterday (although probably most of those were mine from checking several tweaks I did on the blog), I figured I might as well try to see if using "bedroom" and/or "update" in the title would work again.  Anyway, while trying to place books on the bookshelf I wrote about yesterday, I discovered that a great many of the books were higher than the ~7½" height of the cement blocks I bought.  Thus, one little piggie and his nine "siblings" must hie themselves back to the market to buy blocks with more height and, since I'm at it anyway, wood for a couple more shelves.  Thankfully, I'll be going to a closer store (1.6 miles/31 minutes according to google maps vs. 2.2 miles/48 minutes) because my grandson isn't feeling well and won't be able to take me.  Of course, I'm writing this all out before I go, only to post it once I get back.
So, I grabbed a ½ gallon of horchata (I'll explain later) at Food 4 Less, a couple of machaca burritos at Chile Verdes , then swung over to Home Depot only to find out I forgot the order number and they couldn't find it under my name.  Therefore (oh, the horror of it all!) I had to go and grab the items myself .  Thus laboring and heavy laden, I pushed my cart (and I do mean my cart, not the stores- hmph!) home in about the ½ hour allotted by google maps).  There I gave my grandson his food (before anyone questions how I could have left him home alone, especially since he's not Macaulay Culkin, when he's not feeling well, I would like to remind readers he's over 20), chowed down on mine, took a quick cold shower (because of the heat, people, because of the heat), typed out this epilogue, hit first publish and then the hay.

Bedroom update!

Or, It's Not What You Think¹

Listen up, you yahoos!  I know what probably many of you might be thinking after reading such a titillating and tantalizing title: he's been recently widowed, he's posting this after a Saturday night (spent prowling meeting places, no doubt), and now he's talking about the bedroom, so it must be about that.  Puh-lease!  Give me more credit than that.  If I had found another companioness to companionate² with, I would have informed my family immediat... well, at least one week before our wedding⁴, if past performance is any indicator of future results⁶.
Anyway, after my wife died, I tossed the too-small cupboard (that's the closet... closest approximation that I can think of.  Although it wasn't made to hold cups, it was about the same size and had a shelf which we somehow lost) and only-slightly-bigger "media center" and moved the TV and the computer/computer desk about a month ago, during which time I somehow lost the cord that connects the TV to the cable box.  A few days later, while calling the cable company to find out why the TV wasn't picking up any channels, I managed to disconnect the cable box and lose misplace it as well (Trend?  What trend?).  Then, just yesterday, I built fabricated constructed formed a bookshelf, the details of which can be found in various footnotes. The next step I plan to undertake involves moving books that I had stacked on the bookshelf in the living room to the bookshelf I... had a hand in the formation of in the bedroom.  Plus, while I have more or less separated items of hers that I have no interest in keeping, I still have to get them boxed up and see if my grandson wouldn't mind helping me take them to a donation center.

Brain-fried

If my posting the next few days seems sporadic, it is due to the lethargy-inducing heat here in Los Angeles.  Even when I have been able to come up with topics, developing them into a presentable post has sapped my already low energy.  The blog should show some improvement once I become acclimated to it, but for now, I'm just too tired.  That's pretty much all I can write on the matter at the moment.

Why must I be... let's just not go there

Today's Recent Widower Review of Dion and the Blemonts' "Why Must I Be a Teenager in Love" has been cancelled due to a complete lack of sympathy for the plight of the singer.  Being about 30 years older and having a wife recently die will do that to you.  But for those that really want to see it anyway, here it is:

Looking for Mr. Goodframe

Currently looking into buying a new pair of glasses and having to decide to buy locally or online. The main problem with the latter is that the place I got the prescription from refuses to give a pupillary distance without a purchase of glasses at their store, which means I would have to find a way to measure it for myself. While I don't have a problem with them having such a policy, the same cannot be said for their failure to notify of said policy before the exam since that may have altered my decision. Then again, that would not be necessary if I had just kept my previous prescription since it supplied that information. Furthermore, I have had a hard time finding a decently priced (read: cheap) pair of metal frames with a solid nose bridge instead of nose tabs online. On the other hand, there's no guarantee I would be able to do so locally either. On top of that, the optometrist I saw recommended that I get progressive and photochromic¹ lenses, which adds considerably to the cost. Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Update (06/21/16): Bought some online, will give more info in a later post).

¹ Yes, you stupid spell check, "photochromic"² is a word.
² Suggested alternate spellings: "photo chromic" and "photo-chromic". Who creates these word lists anyway?

Important information for those getting an eye exam

When getting an eye exam, make sure to ask the optometrist if a pupillary distance measurement is included in the prescription, especially if you plan to buy your glasses online.  While you might be able to do the measurement yourself, it's one of those things best left up to a professional¹.  If they won't supply it, you might want to consider taking your business to someone else who will.  I found out the hard way at Target Optical, they will only provide one when you purchase glasses with them².

¹ In fact, I believe I read somewhere while searching online to buy glasses that New York (state or city, I can't remember which) law requires a professional measurement when buying eyeglasses.  I don't know whether or not this means an optometrist is required to provide one.  Yes, I'm too lazy to look it up, so if anyone who knows could leave a comment, it would be greatly appreciated.
² While I do not have a problem with them having such a policy, I think it's a bit dishonest to not inform people getting an exam of this beforehand.

¿Como te voy olvidar cuando no puedo?

Translation: ¿How can I forget you when I cannot?

Although this Recent Widower's Review includes another foray into my translating Spanish into English, my task should run a bit smoother as I won't have to decipher my wife's handwriting and spelling as well.  However, I will slightly change the format a little.

The song starts with repeating amor six times and although the word is literally translated as "love", a better translation in context would be "my love" since it's addressed to a person.  Note: count on hearing/reading this word a lot throughout the song.  Note the second: that certain describes my wife.
Even though the next line ("Quiero que me vuelvan a mirar tus ojos") is grammatically correct Spanish, it still causes difficulties for online translators because "in Spanish, changes in the word order can be heard in everyday conversation or seen frequently in everyday writing such as that found in newspapers and magazines."  Google, for example, bungles it completely as "I want you to look into your eyes again" by completely ignoring the "me".  Bing's rendering of the sentence as "I want to get me to look at your eyes" is a bit closer, yet confuses the object and subject.  However, in this sentence, it is the verb that determines the object rather than word order.  In other words, since "vuelvan" is third person plural, the subject has to be a third person noun- and the only noun that fits that description is "tus ojos".  It is easy to understand why the song writer chose this particular word order (i.e., he needed a rhyme for "rojos"), but placing the two "misplaced" subject in the normative spot before the verb (i.e., "Quiero que tus ojos [subject] me [object] vuelvan [verb] a mirar") fixes the translation problem for both Google and Bing: "I want your eyes to look at me again".  Unfortunately, something that is no longer possible for my wife.
After another couple of lines of thrice-repeated "amor", we come to "Quiero volver a besar tus labios rojos", which Google inexplicably translated as "I never want to kiss your red lips".  Bing wins another round almost by default with a closer-but-still-no-cigar "I want to kiss your red lips", since it omits that pesky "volver a".  Including a translation for those two words would make it "I want to go back/return to kiss (or kissing) your red lips".  Yet another nonviable option in regards to my deceased wife.
The next four lines also contain several pitfalls for translation.  Not only do lines one and two (Comó no acordarme de ti and De que manera olvidarte; literally, "How not to remember to me of you" and "Of what way to forget you"), for example, contain infinite verbs and omit a subject altogether, but they build on each other: "How can I not remember you/ In what way can I forget you / If everything reminds me of you ('Si todo me recuerda a ti')/ [and] You are ('estás tú') everywhere ('En todas partes')?".  More on this after the rest of the song.
The singer then goes on to mention a couple of places where "you" are ("estás tú" or just "estás"): a rose and (literally) "to breathe", i.e., "act of breathing".  I haven't seen my wife in any roses, but then again, I haven't looked at many roses since her death other than those that someone (probably one of her daughters or sisters) brought to her final viewing.  As for seeing her in the act of breathing, that comes and goes.  Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
This is followed by the repeated line "How will I forget you?" (Como te voy a olvidar), which will also repeat twice after the next two lines.  The next two places the singer finds "you" is in "kissing the cross" ("besando la cruz") and praying a prayer ("rezando una oracion"), both which carry a religious significance, the first of which (i.e., kissing the cross) I do not participate in and the second of which I would attach only to the love of God and not another person, up to and including my wife.
Now we come to the only part of the song that isn't repeated again:
Si te clavaste aqui en mi corazon (If you have embedded yourself here in my heart)
Y mi amor, has llenado mi alma (And my love, you have filled my soul)
Y tu sangre corre por mis venas (And your blood runs in my veins)
Y mi sangre me hace estremecer (And my blood makes me shake/tremble)
Yo contigo (I with you)
All I can say about this part is I guess it's supposed to be romantic... and maybe it is and I just have poor taste in judging whether something is romantic or not.

Just another difference between pre-widower life and post-widower life

While I was out shopping today (according to the scheduled posting date, which would be about a week ago by the time I actually got around to posting this), I saw a multiple picture with "Together is my favorite place to be" written across the bottom.  Before, I would have viewed it as merely a charming sentiment and some small part of me can still recognize it as such.  Now it mostly delivers a gut punch with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, a painful reminder that my wife's death bars "together" as a "place" I can visit with her in the present.  I'm not quite sure why I share this other than to point out 1) how differently I perceive an innocuous message before and after my wife's death and, 2) how randomly a "bad moment" can appear.