Yep, it's laundry day again

Translation: It Took So Long To Do Laundry That I Can't Think Of  a Topic I Can Write a Quick Post About

Sorry about that, but sometimes real life get int the way of things you want to do and I'm feeling a bit lazy at the moment.  So I'll just leave a few of my favorite YouTube videos:

Because weight fluctuation ≠ weight loss

Wonder how much practice that took?

I already figured this out....

Jon Best's Groom's Guide to Planning a Wedding In Less Than One Week and On a Budget

I might not be Mary Fiore¹, but I can do in a pinch

1. Choose wedding date.  I've heard that the groom's birthday is an especially suspicious, I mean auspicious, date.
2. Have ring bought and marriage certificate arranged beforehand
4. Tell family, friends, and co-workers about wedding.  Financial tip: waiting until it's too late for people to RSVP makes buying and sending invitations unnecessary.
3. Tell family, friends, and co-workers² that you met a lady that you're considering marrying.  Wait... did I do that backwards?
5. Sometime during all of this, ask brother to be the best man and have him accept.
6. Have co-workers who refuse to go to the wedding if no (free) alcohol will be served.  Considering the wedding and reception will take place in a public park that prohibits such beverages, it's not really a choice.  Besides, such a move eliminates people who aren't there for the nuptials from attending and that's probably not all that great of a loss.
7. Although not absolutely necessary, having a father who has been a minister and knows someone who can perform the wedding (in Spanish and English, no less) certainly helps³.
8. Have step-mother willing to buy wedding cake and batteries for boom box to play music at reception.  Remember that it's only the latter that goes into the boom box.
9. On the day of the wedding, get up and get dressed, wife... I mean, bride (because she wasn't my wife yet) does the same and then prepares ceviche⁴ for the reception.  Besides the ceviche, I believe we also had tostadas and soft drinks.
   
   ⁵
10. Have co-worker who introduced you to each other do bride's hair and helps with her makeup.
11. Go to park (I'm 90% sure it was the McKinnon Neighborhood Park, but have a slight bit of doubt).  Did I see her before the wedding?  I believe so, but it's not like I believe in superstitions so it turned out ok after all.
12. Give a little time for anyone who wants to show up to do so.
13. Have wedding and don't mess up any lines.  Since I think all I had to say was "I do", that made it fairly easy.  Kiss the bride when minister gives the order.
14. Par-tay!  (Sorry, no bouquet or garter belt to toss)
15. Not know that one is supposed to pay the minister and have father volunteer to do so.  Have witnesses and minister sign form.
16. Cut the cake.
17. Have co-worker do the traditional (at least I guess it is in Mexico) smearing of a bit of frosting on my and my lovely wife's lovely nose (hers, not mine).
18. Get toasted with apple cider.
19. Get birthday card from father and step-mother.
20. That's pretty much it.  We took the remaining wedding cake home after that and lived more-or-less-happily ever (or at least until she died) after.

¹ Especially since I did not fall in love with the groom.
² If one of these co-workers happens to be the person who introduced you to each other, that's one less person you have to tell since she probably already knows.
³  And, yes, that does mean we did not have someone to perform the ceremony until a few days before the event.
⁴ Mexican sushi
⁵ Sorry, I couldn't find a ceviche⁴ recipe on YouTube in English.

Bedroom update!

Or, It's Not What You Think¹

Listen up, you yahoos!  I know what probably many of you might be thinking after reading such a titillating and tantalizing title: he's been recently widowed, he's posting this after a Saturday night (spent prowling meeting places, no doubt), and now he's talking about the bedroom, so it must be about that.  Puh-lease!  Give me more credit than that.  If I had found another companioness to companionate² with, I would have informed my family immediat... well, at least one week before our wedding⁴, if past performance is any indicator of future results⁶.
Anyway, after my wife died, I tossed the too-small cupboard (that's the closet... closest approximation that I can think of.  Although it wasn't made to hold cups, it was about the same size and had a shelf which we somehow lost) and only-slightly-bigger "media center" and moved the TV and the computer/computer desk about a month ago, during which time I somehow lost the cord that connects the TV to the cable box.  A few days later, while calling the cable company to find out why the TV wasn't picking up any channels, I managed to disconnect the cable box and lose misplace it as well (Trend?  What trend?).  Then, just yesterday, I built fabricated constructed formed a bookshelf, the details of which can be found in various footnotes. The next step I plan to undertake involves moving books that I had stacked on the bookshelf in the living room to the bookshelf I... had a hand in the formation of in the bedroom.  Plus, while I have more or less separated items of hers that I have no interest in keeping, I still have to get them boxed up and see if my grandson wouldn't mind helping me take them to a donation center.

They didn't ring up this purchase (they just gave us a receipt)

How much would you think a pair of top-of-the-line wedding rings would cost back in October of 1999?  Would you believe a price of only $371.00?  Well then, how much would you think a pair of near-the-bottom-of-the-line wedding rings would have cost?  No, that was not anywhere near two months' salary for me and probably a lot closer to 1/3 of one month's salary.  Then again, the whole two months' figure was conjured up by a diamond company trying to get people to spend more money on their product.  Money was tight enough for both of us without buying more expensive rings.  Finally, considering how many people have spent a lot more money on wedding rings only to have their marriages end in divorce in less time than the almost 16 years our marriage lasted, it should be obvious that more expensive rings do not guarantee length.
Anyway, the exact date of purchase was October 9, 1999 at Del Pueblo Jewelers.  While the receipt gives their address as 1026 East Alisal Street, Salinas, CA, at least two online sources give the address as 1030, while at least one other place Foodsco at the 1030 address, and Google Maps shows nothing at the 1026 site and a Factory 2-U store at 1030.  If memory serves me correctly, they are within the Factory2U store with the Foodsco next door.  But it's been at least 16 years, so my memory could be playing tricks on me.  About the only other information the receipt supplies is that we were served by salesperson 25 and the tread-in¹ value was $0.

¹ No, that's not a typo... well, at least not my typo.

Suffering from PWRD

I don't know how prevalent Phantom Wedding Ring Disorder¹ or even if anyone other than myself suffers from it.  I do, however, know that in my case that is altogether too real.  After growing accustomed to almost sixteen years of brushing my thumb against my wedding ring to check that it was still there, it is now gone from the fourth digit of my left hand.  And even the knowledge that it's gone (and why) doesn't stop me from rechecking- just in case I misrembered or dreamt both the real and symbolic reasons for its absence.  But what can one do when she's gone from one's life, but not from one's heart?

¹ I was going to call it "Phantom Ring Syndrome" before learning that name is already taken for an entirely different malady.