Until (a) death (certificate) do us part, the conclusion

In which we find our intrepid hero (i.e., me in case you missed the last two parts of this gripping tale) returning home to make an important discovery.  Sometime after returning home, inspecting the purchases he had made while downtown, and resting a bit, our protagonist decides not only to change his pants, but to put on the same pants he wore the day he went to Oceanside to get his wife's urn/ashes.  At which point, it behooves your humble narrator to make a slight backtracking in the story to revisit a significant detail that turns out to have been in error.  For instead of placing the death certificate inside the inner pocket of his coat as he had thought, someone (and I won't mention any names here mainly because it's me) had put them in his pants' pocket... the very pants which he had jsut changed into and whose pocket he now reached into.
[Please kindly ignore the sound in the background of what might be someone banging his or her head against the wall.]